- Under every scar there's a battle I've lost
- December 25th, 2010
Today is Christmas...and I woke up after dreaming about a little girl (supposedly my own) dying in my arms. Just lying there and dying...and I couldn't stop it. So I woke up crying...and realized it was snowing. That was gleeful for all of a second before I was depressed again.
My brother is sleeping on the couch...and I wish he was not...because the kitchen is cold. I realize, I am using the word "I" a lot. Even if it's only an implied "I". Mer. I know Christmas is about more than the presents...but the fact that I woke up to none sort of made it all the more sad.
I know I am against this, but today I think I'll just go with it...and when I get to my aunt's house for dinner, I will let myself drink to get rid of the sadness and cuddle my cousin and tell her she is amazing...because she is...even if people don't always realize it.
I have some writing to do...because, despite the sadface over this dream, it inspired me to write...Mmm...sadness. Hello, old muse.
I promise to be around again sometime with happier things. I've just been putting all my happy into RP world.